Perfectionists often excel in golf, especially at an early age. Here are some of the adjectives used to describe perfectionists: obsessive, detail-oriented, specific, rigid, relentless, total, technical, exact, painstaking, intense, driven, etc. You get the idea. All of these are traits that help young players excel at golf. They can spend hours and hours perfecting their swing. They can obsess over hand positions and putting strokes. They can figure out how to be exact with their wedges. In golf, there are a thousand details in every round and perfectionists love it. The problem is, golf is not a game of perfect. That fact was even the title of a best-selling book by sports psychologist Bob Rotella. If you haven't read it, pick it up!
Golf is played best when there is a sense of freedom and flow. The best in the game were at their best at the most important times. When they needed a big drive, they hit them. When they needed a long putt to drop, they dropped them. They weren't crippled by tightness. They didn't steer the drives. They didn't leave the putts short trying to be perfect. The greats stayed loose!
Back to the idea of team golf. If you want to help your team, you have to learn to play with freedom. You have to give up on a perfect score or perfect shots and simply do your best. Most players best isn't perfect often or ever. Can you and will you put the team first? Will you do the very best you can with what you have for 18 holes? Will you have a great attitude about what's going on? Can you accept your mistakes and let them go? Can you grind out a score for your team on a tough day? Can you have body language that is uplifting to your teammate who's a fairway away from you? Can you follow a game plan? Can you simply get a putt for par when you're out of position and put away the "go for broke" attitude? Can you run a putt 6 feet past the hole and forgive yourself so you can focus on the putt for par? Can you remember that you're not perfect and the perfect round of golf probably doesn't exist? Can you leave most of the traits of a perfectionist behind and become an athlete who competes?
So, young players are faced with a paradox. The very skills that helped them rise to the top now seem to be holding them back. They dwell on mistakes and that takes them out of being in the moment. They try to get shots back even though there is no such thing. Once a shot is on the card, it's on the card. They try to make up for mistakes, which generally means they get aggressive and make more mistakes. They focus on what isn't happening for them instead of what is or what can be. They get caught up in minutia missing the big picture important to the game. They are hard on themselves and get stuck in negative self-talk. The bottom line is, they have a tough time accepting the past and moving on. If they were still on the range, they would simply drag that next ball over and work on perfect again, but on the golf course, you play each shot, perfect or not.
If you want to understand the importance of body language, check out this video.
Team golf is the perfect opportunity to work through these tendencies. You have a coach who reminds you to let it go, have good body language and do what you can with what you have. You have teammates who show you what it looks like to play athletic golf vs. perfect golf. You have a reason to move on and be good to yourself. You have a limited window to figure this out.
If you're like me, you aren't a perfectionist in all aspects of your life. Yes, as I write this, my house is super messy! So, if we can pick and choose what we want to be perfect, how about you adopt perfectionism in different ways the next time you tee it up. You can choose to have a perfect attitude. It would be a goal that was something like this: Today, I'll do my very best on every shot. After the shot, I'll accept whatever result I get and relax between shots. When I get to the next shot I'll do my very best again. Or, you can decide to have a perfect pre-shot routine. It would be something like this: Today, I will see it, feel it, trust it before every shot. If I don't, I'll step off and find it. Or, you can decide to have great self-talk. That would look like this: Today, I will talk to myself in positive ways. I'll focus on opportunities and find what is good. If my mind goes to places that aren't positive, I'll interrupt it with my self-talk and remember to breath. Or, you can decide to be as prepared as possible for every shot you hit. That would look like this: Today, I'll keep my head up to see the big picture. I'll know my yardage to the hole and to my landing spot. I'll know what a good target is for each shot. I'll club for good shots, but not club for perfect shots. I'll read my greens with the big picture first and then look for more subtle breaks. I'll give every chip and putt a chance by giving it good speed and seeing the high side at the end.
Do you get the idea? If you're a perfectionist, you don't need to stop being one, but you do need to choose where to put your focus. Over the years, I've learned that many players focus beautifully for the entire 18 holes, but they don't choose the right places for their focus. They focus on their mistakes, their problems and what they don't want. Take your focus and put it on things that will help your score, not hurt it. Focus on your pre-shot routine, focus on your body language, focus on your position on the golf course, focus on your self-talk and focus on the shot at hand. Do the very best you can with these things and if you aren't perfect, simply start over. No one is keeping score on these things but you!
If you want to be a pro golfer and one who stays out on tour for a long time, this is the skill set you need. When I think of what a pro golfer is, this is what I picture. I picture a player who is ready for the shot, has her head up, smiles at the fans, does her best and makes the lowest score possible no matter where her ball lies. If you want to be a team player, it will be a perfect preparation to a long career on tour.
The epitome of doing what you can with what you have.